Letters From The Heart

13 January, 2011 18:30

lucentabella — Fri, 14 Jan 2011 02:30:53 +0000

http://cube-display.fr/winter2011.php

Makers of Fruit Loops Cereal

lucentabella — Thu, 27 May 2010 11:37:12 +0000

Dear Makers of Fruit Loops Cereal,

I’ve been tolerant of your mascot, Toucan Sam, for a long time now. I get it. Your slogan is “follow your nose.” Toucans have big bills that make for a big nose. I won’t even get into how birds don’t smells things like humans smell things or that technically the birds bill is also their mouth. Anyway, what the heck does a kung-fu fish have to do with cereal? The last thing I want to think about, while eating a sugary breakfast is fish. I think a bird could totally kick a fishes tail (even a kung-fu one) anyday.

Sincerely,
Imma Grossedout

Dear Omnaris

Sara — Mon, 03 May 2010 06:02:01 +0000

Those are Daisies, not Roses.

Sincerely
A. Choo

Dear Ex-lax

Sara — Fri, 30 Apr 2010 15:04:04 +0000

Worst. Timing. EVER! 

Dear Tiger

Sara — Tue, 20 Apr 2010 19:16:19 +0000

While I appreciate you little “present” you left on the floor next to my bed I much prefer chocolates over dead lizards. Again, thanks but no thanks…..

Dear Hubby

Sara — Fri, 16 Apr 2010 13:03:33 +0000

When you don’t get home until midnight and I am still up because our kid is fussing, then you procede to snore louder than ever keeping me awake an extra hour, and then our fussy child gets up at 4:30 am and I have to get up with her, and you sleep until 7am you DO NOT get to complain to me about being tired! That is all.

Sleepily yours
I Get wife/mother of the year for this sh!t or an IPad. You decide.

Dear Stinkerbell

Sara — Wed, 14 Apr 2010 15:26:12 +0000

You are just fine. Now take your nap before Mommy has a complete melt down as well and they ship us both off to the looney bin.

Love ALWAYS
Mommy

Dear Janet

Sara — Sun, 11 Apr 2010 03:14:45 +0000

Apparently he is retarded. You’re better off without him.

Dear Facebook

Sara — Thu, 01 Apr 2010 02:40:20 +0000

You are pissing me off. Stop it now.

Kthx

ZOMG I FEEL LIKE CRAP oh yeah Dear Cats:

lucentabella — Wed, 31 Mar 2010 02:20:19 +0000

Dear Cats,

You may not have noticed this, but I do not feel well. That hacking sound you keep spazzing out at every time you hear it is me dying a little more each time. Ok. Fine. I’m not dying. I have the crud. But, YOU wouldn’t know this. At least I’m assuming you don’t know this because you keep crawling on me and carrying on with each other all over my personal space bubble. I know you don’t understand Human, but when I groan and shove you off me, that doesn’t mean curl up on top of my already pressured chest. It also doesn’t mean chase your sibling-cat on top of me. So please, for the sanity of this house and my health, GET OUT OF MY ROOM AND STOP CRYING AND CLAWING AT THE DOOR WHEN I SHUT YOU OUT.

Thank you and I love you more than anything else (except my niece LC b/c she’s awesome),
The Girl Giant with opposable thumbs