Rodgers,

This morning I heard you exclaim, “You moron!” You shouldn’t call yourself mean names. The rest of us here call you plenty of nasty names. So, just leave that to us pros. Additionally, while in the kitchen you said, “good morning.” I replied with a quick, “hey.” Then you asked how I am doing. Again, I gave a quick answer, “fine.” In case you haven’t caught on, I don’t like you. You make me want to bang my head into things until I blackout. When you see me, don’t bother to stop & chat – just keep on walking. Finally, instead of spending all your employed time being the worlds ugliest douche, try doing your job. Don’t worry about me, I will not be offended if you never talk to me again.

Sincerely,

Me

And everyone else.

PS: I have time to write this b/c the network is down & you are not in your office to ensure your equally retarded employees are fixing the problem. The last I saw and heard, they were in the hall talking about funny websites.