Dear Smoking (not hot) Co-workers:

you smell like this

I respectfully request you not chain smoke (much less smoke once) right outside the back door. If you are so incapable of walking 20 away from the door, you should stop smoking! No really- that’s abnormal and may require medical help. Seriously, it smells like -what I can only imagine- an ashtray at the strip club after free beer night smells like. You’re probably thinking, but Lucy you smoke. Ah-ha! I have been known to indulge in bad judgment (note I DO NOT support smoking- another blog, another time). I don’t however, force that bad judgment on my co workers for 8 hours. Stop forcing me to smell your nasty habit. I am in the habit of painting my toe nails, shall I expose you to the lovely smell of acetone? You probably smoke so much you couldn’t smell acetone if I shoved it up your nose. Then again, if I shoved it up your nose while you’re smoking it might catch fire. Then the building burns down. And for what? B/c you couldn’t walk 20 feet. Thanks a bunch Butt Breath.

Sincerely,
Pollly Cee